Welcome to the world's oldest profession ... sales. Working in sales, you have the opportunity to make more money and drink more coffee than you ever thought possible! You also get these bonus benefits: customers who lie to your face, quotas that change as soon as you hit them, management that puts soul-crushing demands on you to produce ... and so much pressure you're likely to experience PSSD (Post Sales Stress Disorder). Whether you've been in sales for a while, are new to the game, or just need a lift, this humorous yet practical guide shows you how to: overcome objections without tears; get out of a sales slump ... legally; cold call without sedatives; beg for referrals; spot common types of customers, coworkers, and managers; decipher compensation plans; deal with the day-to-day; maintain a social life (mission impossible); and much, much more. The Sales Survival Handbook contains all the do's, don'ts, quizzes, lists, and real-world advice you need to survive the agony and enjoy the ecstasy of your sales career.